Fore!

So I was in a golf tournament this past Thursday.
It was my first time golfing. Ever.

I was golfing with my boss, who was most patient,
in a charity tournament. I don’t think I did too
badly, I hit the ball at least which is a good start.
I was no where as good as my teammates
of course but they were good about it.

One of the Edmonton Eskimos was at the tourney.
Actually, he was an auction item. Our team bid
on him and we got to have him on our team.
His name was Willie Pless. He was a pretty
good golfer and an even better sport. I would
hit my ball like 15 feet off to the left and he
would say “Good try, good try”. All of my
team was patient which made the day more
bearable. Because golf is just a wee bit slow
for me.

I turned out to be not too bad of a
putter, I actually got the ball in the hole
once much to my surprise. We golfed for
6.5 hours. I had hurt my back just a bit
from lifting weights earlier in the week
so I sat out the last 4 or 5 holes. Again,
my team was most understanding. My shots
were not helping the cause much anyway.


My boss almost lost me once. See, each time
she would stop the golf cart, I would get out,
she would tell me what club number to use,
we would go tee off. But once she stopped to
let another cart by, which I did not see. Boss
stops, I hop out. Boss drives away. I am
standing there waiting for my instructions.
Boss looks beside her – no passenger.
Lucky for me she didn’t drive too far, I got
back in and we continued on our merry way.

Here are some facts on Willie Pless, my teammate:

Willie was born February 21, 1964 was a star football
linebacker in the Canadian Football League.
Willie played his college football at the University of
Kansas. As a Jayhawk starter for only three years he
amassed an amazing 633 tackles. In 1991 he signed
with the Edmonton Eskimos as a free agent. During
his eight years with the Eskimos, he set club records
for most all time defensive tackles (813), tackles in
one season (177) and, on four occasions, tied the club
record for defensive tackles in one game (12).
Pless won numerous awards and honours throughout
his tenure as an Eskimo.

All in all the day wasn’t too bad. There was lots of
free snacks, drinks, and the usual temptations.
We were given a free pair of “professionally fitted
golf shoes” which I may or may not use.
The BBQ dinner was really good. Willie signed
an autograph while we ate. I wondered how he
felt about being disturbed while he ate his dinner.
He was very pleasant about it. Willie gave a speech
and then he was off to catch a flight. He left us
his 50/50 tickets. The boss and I stayed for a bit,
discovered we didn’t win the 50/50 draw and we took off.


So, I can now say I’ve been golfing. Would I do it again?
Not likely. Although I did have fun with the team
I was on, I suspect that would not be the case in a regular
game of golf. It’s unlikely the golfers behind you would
say “Good try, good try” when you hit the golf ball
15 feet off to the side.

There are a lot of rules on these golf courses. Wear this,
don’t wear that. They even tell you to wear socks.
Why? How can this possibly affect the golf course or
your game? No jeans either. Again, why? It’s beyond
me. If I was a paying golfer, I would resent them telling
me how I should dress for the day. Maybe I hate socks.
Maybe I love jeans.

I went to the driving range once with a friend and that
wasn’t too bad so maybe I will try that a few times before
taking on Tiger Woods. I wonder if Tiger Woods showed
up with no socks if they’d send him home?